Self-Awareness
A man who knows himself is a man who can’t be easily shaken.
Self-awareness is where real growth begins — not by changing the world around you, but by understanding what’s going on inside you.
It’s how you stop reacting blindly and start responding wisely. It's how you move from confusion to clarity, from frustration to focus. Because you can’t lead a life you don’t understand — and you can’t change what you don’t notice
Description
Self-awareness is the ability to clearly see your own thoughts, emotions, behaviours, and patterns — and understand how they affect you and others.
It means being honest with yourself about your strengths, struggles, triggers, needs, values, and blind spots. It's less about judgment and more about curiosity.
There are two main types:
Internal Self-Awareness
Understanding what’s happening inside you: your emotions, thoughts, motivations, values.
Example: Noticing that you’re feeling anxious — and knowing it’s triggered by a need for control, not failure.
External Self-Awareness
Understanding how your behaviour impacts others and how you’re perceived.
Example: Realising your sarcasm is coming across as criticism to others — even if that’s not your intent
Why It Matters
It improves your emotional regulation and confidence.
It strengthens relationships and communication.
It helps you live and lead with purpose — instead of running on autopilot
How To Develop This skill
Here are 5 techniques on how to build this skill:
1. Use the “Name It” Habit - When you feel a strong emotion, pause and name it.
“I’m not just angry — I’m feeling disrespected. ”This separates you from the emotion and puts you back in control
2. Run Daily Self-Scans - Ask yourself:
What did I feel today?
What did I need but not express?
What pattern did I repeat?
3. Use the Mirror Rule - When something triggers you, ask:
“What is this reflecting back about me?” - This shifts blame into insight.
4. Ask for Honest Feedback - Ask a trusted friend or partner:
“What’s one thing I do that I might not notice but affects others?”
5. Journal Your Reactions
Write about a moment that made you feel tense, defensive, or proud. What was underneath that feeling?
Case Study
Malik – From Reaction to Reflection
Background
Malik, 42, owns a construction business and is a father of three. He’s sharp, driven, and respected — but also quick to anger, especially under stress. He often found himself snapping at staff, arguing with his wife, and then feeling guilty afterward.
“I didn’t even know why I was mad. It was like I was being pulled by invisible wires.”
He had goals. But without self-awareness, he kept tripping over his own blind spots
Turning Point
After a heated argument with his teenage son — over something minor — Malik saw his son shut down. That night, his wife said:
“He doesn’t feel safe talking to you. Not because you don’t love him — but because you don’t know how you’re coming across.”
That hurt. But it opened his eyes
What Changed
1. He Started Journaling His Reactions - Each evening, Malik wrote down one situation that triggered him, and what he felt underneath the surface. He began to notice that most of his anger was actually frustration with himself — not others.
2. He Practiced the “Name It, Own It” Habit - When emotions rose, he paused, named what he was feeling, and communicated it before exploding.
“I’m stressed, and I need a minute — I’m not mad at you.”
3. He Asked for Feedback - He asked his crew lead and his wife:
“When I’m stressed, how do I show up?”
The answers were tough, but honest. They gave him a mirror to work with.
4. He Made Time to Reflect Weekly - Every Sunday morning, he reviewed:
What went well this week?
Where did I lose control?
What do I need more of?
5. He Learned to Pause Before Reacting - One deep breath. One beat. That was often enough to stop old patterns from running the show
The Outcome
Malik became a calmer, more respected leader.
His home became more peaceful, and his son started opening up again.
He gained a deep sense of control — not over others, but over himself.
“I used to think power was in getting louder. Now I know power is in being aware.” – Malik
Key Takeaway
Self-awareness doesn’t make you perfect — it makes you honest.
And that honesty is the beginning of real growth, better relationships, and a more intentional life
Quick Action Steps
Name your top 3 emotional triggers.
Ask someone for honest feedback this week.
Try journaling for 5 minutes tonight: “What did I learn about myself today?”
Call To Action
"The man who looks inward finds the compass to move forward."
Assessment
How proficient are you with regards
Self-Awareness